Don't Call Me Baby

Written by: Joanne W

Summary: Buffy finally gets a clue about the men in her life.
Rating: PG.
Disclaimer: All BtVS characters mentioned belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy et al. Lyrics taken from 'Don't Call Me Baby' by Madison Avenue.
Spoilers: None. Set about mid-season 4 though.
Author's Notes: Just to say "Anya who?". British spelling. //'s indicate thoughts, *'s indicate word emphasis and #'s indicate lyrics.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Buffy felt like banging her head on the table //When will he understand that I don't care what his cousin said after he crashed the stupid tractor, or what colour dress his mom wore to dinner or that his family are so dull...//

"Buffy?"

"Huh?" Buffy realised Riley had noticed that she hadn't been giving him her full attention //Oooh shame//

"Are you OK?" he asked in that annoyingly simpering way he had.

"Yeah, just dandy" //Oh God, now you're talking like him//

"'Cos you seemed kinda distant" Riley paused, his clockwork brain working overtime "Am I boring you?"

//Tell him yes! Tell him yes!// "No, of course not" //Idiot//

"Good, I knew I could never bore you, baby"

Buffy plastered on a small smile in an effort not to show her annoyance.

#Behind my smile is my IQ#

#I must admit this does not sit with the likes of you...#

#...didn't momma tell you not to play with fire?#

"Oh before I forget" Riley continued "Can you not wear that red dress you bought the other day to this thing tonight. I think it's a little too daring"

"Excuse me?" Buffy said incredulously "I'll wear what I want-" she broke off "What thing?"

"We've been invited to a frat party. I already told everyone you were coming"

"Well don't you think it would have been nice to tell *me*?"

"I didn't think you'd mind. Anyway you have to come, you're my girlfriend"

Buffy huffed "I don't *have* to do anything Riley"

At this point Xander chose to enter the room.

"Buffy what's your problem?" Riley said, clueless as usual.

"The problem is you just assumed that I would be coming" Buffy replied angrily, crossing her arms infront of her chest.

#You know I don't belong to you#

#It's time you knew I'm not your baby#

#I belong to me so don't call me baby#

"But baby you have to come" Riley whined in a really irritating way that Buffy had begun to realise he had.

"I already have plans"

"Well cancel them"

"No!"

#I'm the one to take you on#

#Don't underestimate me boy#

#I'll make you sorry you were born#

"Maybe I should go-" Xander started

"Stay" Buffy said, still glaring at Riley "We're still going to the movie"

"You're going out with him?!" Riley said jabbing a finger in Xander's direction

"Yes" she said then looked across at Xander who, if it was possible she thought, was looking more gorgeous than usual //And I've been thinking that more and more often lately//. She smiled at him then turned back to glare Riley "I'm going with him"

"You are *not* going out with him, baby" Riley said jealously, puffing out his chest trying to make himself look all manly. He failed miserably.

#You got to learn baby that'll never do#

#You know I don't belong to you#

#It's time you knew I'm not your baby#

#I belong to me so don't call me baby#

Buffy narrowed her eyes at him then looked to Xander, still looking gorgeous and not at all pathetic //Unlike Riley//, then looked back to her boyfriend "I'm going with him" she said again in a dangerously quiet voice.

"You're my girlfriend. You have to-"

"Well maybe I don't *want* to be your girlfriend anymore"

"What?"

"You heard"

"I can't believe you're dumping me for him" he glared angrily at Xander who averted his eyes from the couple but unsuccessfully trying to hide the fact that he was smirking.

"I'm not" Buffy cast a glance at Xander who was //still looking gorgeous// and trying to blend into the background

#You and me - we have an opportunity#

#And we could make it something really cool#

Buffy smiled to herself //But then again...// she thought before a whining noise violated her ears.

"Buffy, you can't mean-" Riley made a pathetic attempt at a puppy dog look.

Buffy gave an annoyed sigh //Doesn't he know that Xander is the only one who can pull that off?//

"I do mean. Just go Riley!"

#Don't underestimate me boy#

#I'll make you sorry you were born#

Riley glared at her and then at Xander as he stormed out.

"I can't believe you finally dumped farm boy" Xander said going over to her, that loveable grin spread over his face.

"I can't believe I didn't do it sooner" she said "It was like I was starting to drag around a life size Ken-doll" she paused "Actually I think a Ken-doll would have been more fun"

"You still wanna go out tonight?" Xander asked hopefully.

Buffy grinned at him and took in his still looking gorgeous-i-ness.

#You and me we have an opportunity#

#And we could make it something really cool#

#But you, you think I'm not that kinda girl#

#I'm here to tell you baby I know how to rock your world#

"Do I ever" she said grabbing his hand and Buffy proceeded to drag a thoroughly surprised Xander out of the door.

#I'm here to tell you baby I know how to rock your world#

 

*~* END *~*

 

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