Written by: Joanne W

SUMMARY: Buffy and Xander talk
DISCLAIMER: Buffy and Xander belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, UPN et al.
SPOILERS: Season six.
This is a response to Shawn's (Ozmandayus) Dialogue Challenge on the BX-Fanfic list:

Your fic must be all dialogue. No details. Nothing but dialogue. It only features Buffy and Xander. No one else.
The premise of the fic is this. Everything in season 6 happened. Xander broke his lease and moved in the Summers home. All summer long Xander, Willow, and Buffy have rallied around each other. This fic takes places in early November. Buffy is ready to ask Xander out on a date. Your challenge is to create a scene, however you want to do it in your headings. The actual fic itself must be all dialogue. In the fic these four things must happen.

A. You must make mention of the fact that Buffy and Spike had sex.
B. That Willow killed Warren
C. That Xander left Anya at the alter
D. That Spike attempted to rape Buffy


"Hey Xan. Move your ass."

"And a good day to you too, Buffy. And watch it with your feet there, this couch is plenty big enough for two, y'know."

"Sorry. Guess I shouldn't be complaining, after all you did pay to have it re-upholstered."

"Yeah. Who'd have guessed a demon that small could contain so much goo?"

"Hmm. Next time we get one, I'm gonna tie it up 'til we can find a way to kill it without it exploding."

"Ahh, a story you can tell your grandkids."

"I'll be the only grandma that doesn't use wooden sticks for walking."

"Ooh, was that a smile I saw?"

"... It might've been."

"Y'see, I knew I'd see it again someday."

"Y'saw it yesterday Xan."

"Yeah, but this is Buffy-smile for plans for the future. Yesterday was Buffy smiles 'cos she thought she'd got away with using my razor to shave her legs."

"But, look. See how smooth they are. And OK, I can smile about the future now. Happy?"

"Of course I am. You think I want you to go back to the Buffy that boinks the undead because she can't even handle the here and now let alone the future? And OK, I know, low shot, probably shouldn't have brought it up, it's just... y'know how I feel about Spike."

"You mean how you hate his guts and wish you could find out where he is and drive a stake through his heart?"

"Well I was going to beat him to a bloody pulp first, maybe castrate him so he can't try and rape you or anyone else again. I've got a list of things to do to him somewhere."

"I know. I found it. I liked the dying his hair pink."



"Sorry, I just... I mean, it's just usually you're a little-"

"Angry? Upset? Hurt? Stupid for forgetting what he was?"

"Uh... yeah?"

"Well I still am. I'm just, y'know, channelling it a lot better now, that's all."

"Well... good. Seriously Buff, it's good."

"I know. Now... now we just have to help Willow deal."

"... Yeah."

"She's still having nightmares about it, isn't she?"

"Buffy, *I'm* still having nightmares about it. I saw my best friend skin a guy alive and then burn him to a cinder. It doesn't make for sweet dreams."

"I was there too Xander, remember?"


"Xander, I wasn't... I wasn't trying to... look, just don't apologise, OK?"

"Then to answer your question, yes she is."

"And now I find you are too. I didn't even know you'd had them."

"Mine aren't like hers."

"No. I don't suppose they would be. But... but how come they don't wake me? I mean, how come I don't hear her?"

"Sometimes you're out on patrol, but mainly it's because I'm there with her. I can usually calm her down before limbs start flailing. And I can tell by that look, you're still a little weirded out by the fact that I'm sleeping with Willow."

"Well when you say it like that..."


"Sorry. OK, I guess it's a little weird, but I know why you're doing it and that you're not *doing* it because that second part I just said would be so... you're not... right?"

"I can't believe you're even *asking*, Buffy. What the hell kind of question is *that*?"

"Xan, I'm sorry! Please, sit back down, please?"

"She still *needs* me Buffy. I should have been there for her more before... before the magic began to consume her the first time."

"We all should have."

"And it's why I'm here for her now."

"And I'm here for her too, it's just..."

"Just what?"

"It's just... I know we've all been here for each other and we've talked, but I still feel... I still feel like I'm on the outside with you two."

"Buffy, you're not. You're *so* not, believe me."

"Xan, you and Willow will always have something that I will probably never get completely in on. I'm just... jealous, I guess-"


"I wasn't finished."


"It's OK. But, I am. I'm jealous. I know Willow needs you more than I do right now, I know that. But... but sometimes I need some... some Xander time too."

"Xander time?"

"Great, now I feel stupid for saying it."

"You think I'm neglecting you?"

"No, no, that's not what I meant. OK, not that I enjoy the gut-wrenching, heartfelt talks that we have and I didn't really envisage this one turning into one either, I just oh God, I have no idea what I meant. Just forget I ever said anything."

"Oh, no, see, I can't 'cos, y'know, I'd be neglecting you."

"Oh, and now you're laughing at me. Great. Way to make me feel better."

"Buffy, I'm sorry. Really. C'mon, you've obviously got something on your mind. Talk to me, OK?"

"Ugh, fine. You wanna know? Then it's not just so much about you spending time with me, it's about me spending time with you."

"... Huh?"

"You're looking after Willow and that's-that's great, but Willow, she's not in any fit state to look after you. No one's looking after you, Xander."

"So you're saying, what? You want to do my laundry? Buff, I don't get it."

"It's not about washing or ironing, Xander-"

"Good, because the last woman that wanted to look after me like that, I left at the altar."

"Y'see, this is what I'm talking about. I know you're still hurt a little over Anya, with everything that happened on either side. And you, you talk about me not smiling, but it's not like you've been Mr Happy either. I'm not saying you're lonely, I'm saying, I think you just need someone to-to watch you. I guess what I'm saying is that... that I want to look after you. Stop looking at me like I've grown another head or something."

"I can't. I can't because I still have no idea what you're talking about."

"I'm saying that I want to take you out. Out of here. This house. Just me and you."

"You wanna take me out?"

"What's so wrong with me wanting to spend time with the only guy who's never left me? You're a *good* man, Xander. I don't want you thinking that you aren't."

"Buff, are you... are you asking me out? Like on a date?"

"OK, I want to stress that I didn't use the word 'date'. At all. Not once. That was you."


"But would it be that bad?"


"If I was?"

"Asking me out?"

"Like on a date."

"I don't know. Could it... could it be, like, a half date?"

"A half date?"

"Yeah, y'know, friends but... but with a 'maybe' thrown in."

"Sure. I can live with maybe."

"You're smiling again."

"So are you."


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