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Bitch Archives


Tanya
Does that girl Sara even know what a hairbrush IS!

The entertained
Oh my god. SB gives me bare jokes. Out of all the kids in the world they chose a munchkin with a oceans supply of suliva. How come this Cavanagh guy, whose martial arts skills live on from karate kid, seems as though he fancies every SB chick he comes across. As for Annie, wot is she on. Does she have to breathelise every scene she's on. Is it me or does Bette really resemble Goldie Horn? I think that Ben is far better as Deric. At least that way he does more movements than just walking at snails pace or showing his keys to everyone. Thank heavens that chinese dolly nodding head of Gobby's hasn't been done in time cos boy was that irritating. Cassey's incredible hulk running style has got to crack everyone up. As for everyone else thay can just join the whole dumb squad of sunset beach as they all have brains the siza of a pea.

Jen
God I hate Meg! I did wonder if it was just the actress, but no, even with Sydney Penny it is just as bad. All she ever does is whine about Ben. You think her family would have got just a bit pissed off with it by now, instead of hugging her and telling her she's wonderful. Mind you I have begun to wonder whether Meg really does want to leave Ben, for the pure and simple reason that she has seen Benjy and can't bear the thought of having kids with Ben!...Fair enough!

Queen Olivia- Ruler of all she survey's
I am so fed up of the so called good character's pretending to be the upholders of all that is morally good and decent. Take Antonio for example he spends all his time getting in a temper about his mother and everyone else "interfering" in his life & pretending to be a good priest when all the time he is just a cheap and dirty little ho f***er who previously spent all his all his time plotting to f**k Gabbi the ho. What the hell kind of preist is he anyway, he's never even done a decent days work at the mission and he keeps going on about his "calling" and how he has to fulfil his promise to God and all he ever did was cause problems for his good and proper decent brother As for Meg - Another pretender of the "i'm so good and decent club" if she is so damn good and proper then why did she continue to f**k Ben and sleep in his Bed in MARIA'S house after she found out that Maria was still alive & STILL MARRIED TO BEN - oh i suppose the extent of her virtue does not extend to refraining from commiting adultery Jude Cavanagh on the other hand would never do such a thing as he is a perfect example of all that is good and proper. That's all for now - I shall return

Queen Bitch
Gad, all the women in SB must have very bruised arms as they are always being grabbed by thicko brutes who don't have the conversational ability to say "Wait" or "don't go" or even thrillingly "I haven't finished with you yet" and sound like they mean it. No they must accompany these limpid words with a macho display which always looks crap because it's done all the time.
This week Ben was doing most of the arm grabbing or should I say...Derek! Well Ben might have morphed into Derek but he still retains that irritating Ben-ism of putting his hand to his head then lowering it slowly in a gesture of "exasperation" Still it was the first time I've been surprised by anything on Sunset Beach which is saying something!
But then of course it reverted to type in the scene where Antonio spills coffee over himself and has to tear off his shirt. Take a guess what happens next while he's in his vest-yep, Gobi walks in. Wow, wasn't expecting that!
Unintentional hysterical bit - where Thicardo starts "thrusting" in desperation after he imagines Gobi telling him he's dead from the waist down. (She got it wrong-it's from the neck up) Careful THicky, or Michael will think you fancy him!
Yippee, smarmy Cole's in custody-lock him up and throw away the key, and put "Hey Jude the non-cool dude" in there as well. He has to be the smarmiest smuggest git around - I bet he turns out to be AJ's son - they have a lot in common.
My thicket of the week prize goes to Olivia, for sucking up to Tobias without realising that he's really Greggy in disguise!

Denise Deschanel
Maria Torres-Evans...how pretentious using a double barrelled name...I cannot stand her...Santa Maria being so "nice" and so "understanding" and now that she is back with hubby so "smug"...and the way she looks like Uri Geller trying to bend a spoon when she is trying to remember something...she's just trying if you ask me!!! Her Ears, her arse which by itself is the size of California...and her hair at the momnet reminds me of the way my 4 year old daughter draws hair...all high at the sides and a big dip (or should that be drip) in the middle!

Jeannine
Could Gabby look any more cheap and slutty? Making her Antonio's love interest is the sickest thing the show's ever had, any of the other women would have been better. She's like an irritating, buzzing insect and I HATE HER.

Josie
I've just heard that Tim gets killed and his body encased in concrete. Hurrah, some of my dreams are coming true!! Its a shame that SB has finished filming, otherwise we could have pressurised the writers into doing similar things to titless Gobbi, can't-act AJ, Divvy Livvy, cheesy Michael, wet Vanessa and pouty Benji. Maria is s'posed to be a talented artist. Maybe she could build a stonehenge-like structure out of all the concrete blocks.

Helz
What sad, pathetic storylines the writers are giving to Michael and Vanessa. True, I don't really like either character but I can't believe I have spent valuble seconds of my life watching Michael stress because he thought he had wiped all the files of Vanessa's laptop. Surprise, surprise. All is well. Lets smooch because we are such a perfect couple. Urgh, pass the bucket and GET A LIFE or get off my screen.

Hannah
Mariah is the best on the whole show then comes Tess. Derek is the best male. He is soooooooo fiiit! I know I'm weird, i love Derek but not Ben. I think Ben and Maria should get together and make more Benji's. He is such a good Kid

Karen
Meg should smell the rat by now Ben does not want her as a wife he wants Maria . he loves Meg because he thinks she looks good between the sheets . By the way ? where is the orignal and lovely Meg ? This new Meg should be in the boxing ring and oh...... she is really ugly

Alexia
Please someone kill Benji!!! His squeaky voice makes me wanna throw the remote at the telly!! How long do we have to go on watching Tess go on about finding out what Ben found out about her in seattle? For gods sake, get it over with!! And when is Gregory gonna come back from the so-called dead?

Queen Olivia - Ruler of all she survey's!
TO all of you who have been slating Benji - it's not his fault his mother is Tess and his father is Derek i tell ye so what do you expect. As for gabi she is such an ugly fat ho - and she had the nerve to argue with the arch bishop over his decision to send Antonio away, and argue with him in front of her husband no less when she knows what she and Antonio did - FOR SHAME. In the first place its her's and Antonio's fault that Ricardo's paralyed in a wheelchair and they don't even feel guilty??? As for Jude i have revised my position on him and now think that he is mighty damn fine Mmmmmmmmm.........

susans other half
speaking from this point of view i really dont think ben deserves any of the women (maria or especially meg) because of the fact that he just mucking both of them about. i think he should run off with marias mum 1 it will lieven up the plot etc. 2 at least carmen will have a bit of companny, and 3 it will boost up the ratings with meg running to casy and maria running off with tim (who ben hates).

Veronica
In the original Thorn Birds, the woman who led the priest into temptation was played by Rachel Ward, who at the time was young and very beautiful. In Sunset Beach's smutty attempt at the same story what does poor Antonio get? A repulsive bug-eyed goblin with hairy arms and no tits! And people wonder why the show has been cancelled!

Jen
Emily is just SO stupid! I mean would you still be friends with someone who tried to steal your boyfriend and made you go blind?? And now she's telling Amy that she's her "only real friend". Eurgh

Queen Bitch
What a great show this week, Bette deserves an Oscar, she is so cool. Benji as usual deserves to be taken away by the childcatcher and never returned. Yippee, Ben finally gave Smeg the push, unfortunately this sets the scene for lots of meaningful looks across crowded rooms. I'm amazed he recognises Smeg now a different actress is playing her. Emily's a pretty good actress also, specially as she has to pretend to be upset that Spawn slept with Amy. If that were me I'd be "Off you go then!" and good riddance. Amazing how Ricardo goes from strength to strength. Soon we wont be needing Michael at all which would be great as I can't stand him.

Becca Hughes
What the hell has happened to sMeg? She has turned into someone else wearing half a t-shirt. What's happening. And as for Gabi. KILL HER OFF PLEASE!!!!! She is such a tart and an even bigger drip. As if she wouldn't have got the message by now. Ricardo hates her! And we can all tell, but she is suppost to know the guy inside out and she can't even tell when he's pissed off. She's dense. And she should die!

Queen Bitch
It is getting really painful to watch Annie. Someone let her get her way, just once! Stop letting that smug git Cavanagh get the better of her. And Cole also.

Anon
I'm sorry, but who the hell in their right state of mind would fancy either A.J. or Michael!!!!????? No, no, no, no, no, no!!!!!!!!!! Michael and those damn teeth and that mouth, I mean what are they, and he's so sickening, every line he says drips with cheese (i.e. when he practised his stinking proposal to bubble wrap girl Vanessa). it's gotten so bad that I can't even look at the screen when he's on in fear that Iíll chuck up all over the telly. and that bloody A.J. what is it with all that whispering, why why why!? him and Livvie the Divvie need an asthma pump, he's always short of breath and she breathes out too much!!!! (over dramatic old moo cow) and dear darling Meggie!! when is everyone gonna realise she's a whinging, silicone implanted, selfish, cheating, big bummed Texan harlot!!!??? damn her and her whining "Biiiiiiin" (Ben) every six seconds. and she always goes back to him, she's left about six million times for Antonio's sake!!!!! I just can't wait till the next time Annie 'superbitch' (and the best) makes her cry!!!!!! lastly, why the heck can't the Torres family sort it out: Thickardo: you don't honestly believe that dimwit has enough brain cells too even count to ten, let alone think up a plan to ruin Gobby and Father Fit's lives do you? no. I thought not! Maria: please, please stop with the eye twitching, eye ball goggling thing PLEASE! no wonder she lost her bloody memory, and having said that, if you had a kid like Benjy, wouldn't you want to forget? I say kill the greasy little sap!!!!!! Mad Barwoman Carmen: NO NO NO NO NO. she looks like Sylvester Stallone gone wrong!!!!!!! and what is all that meeehar, Antonio, porque meeehar kelida. Just stop it. Antonio: stop the mouth twitching and pauses already!!!!!! Which by the way is another annoying thing, why pause unnecessarily, when every viewer knows the next line anyway!!!
Last thing now promise... does anyone in Sunset Beach go to work, or really earn their money? coz in the rare scenes they are at work, it's only ever to argue, beg for forgiveness or cause sabotage!!!!! DAMN THEM ALL!!!(bar Annie Douglas Richards) Thank you.

Alexia
If i hear Satans Child Benji say "Mommy, where's Daddy?" one more time, |'m gonna have to go to SB myself, and drop-kick the little squashed-faced, squeeky voiced twerp into the sea! Will someone please wring the little shit's neck for me? Speaking of Necks, how come he's got such a short one, and his dosey faced divvy mother Maria has such a bloody long one?
Meg need's to forget Ben, get hold of the gun that shot franchesca, shoot ben and Maria, stick a huge firework up Benji's arse, light it and blow him up, have a bitch fight with Tess that goes wrong, and kill herself in the process!

josie
The new Jude is such an arrogant B***tard. I hate him already. Hopefully he will elope with Olivia and we can get of two annoyances at once.

Helz
Olivia is such a cow. She knew for nearly a year that Trey was her son but kept it a secret for Caitlin's sake. Why the hell has she suddenly decided that she has to raise him as her own. There have been a number of true-life cases where a mother has given birth to a child to give to her infertile daughter. After a year of playing the martyr, why has Olivia suddenly done an about turn. She really needs a good slapping. Talking of slapping, don't get me started. No-breasts Gobby, weak as dishwater AJ and evil Benji are all in the queue.

David
What reeeeeeeeeeally pisses me off about SB recently are the plot lines. I mean come on, we all no Sunset Beach is far detatched from reality, but two girls fighting over Sean?!?!?! It's beyond belief! The only reason this particular story is happening is because Randy Spelling went to the writers and said "I couldn't pull a Christmas cracker let alone a woman so write me in lots of sex scenes other wise I'm gonna kick you in the nuts and then I'll tell my Daddy and he's the big cheese around here and he'll make sure you never work in this town again!!!" Also is it me or do Michael and Vanessa have absolutely no storyline what-so-ever! All they ever seem to be doing is either snogging each other or talking to somebody else about the other persons plotline. All that's happening is that their being given awful scenes until their contracts run out. Oh, yeah and one more thing, is Antonio adopted? Everyone in the Torres family look like freaks of nature except Father Fit (not that I'm attracted to him, it's just what I hear from female Beachers!).

Queen Olivia - Ruler of all she survey's!
Oh no! Did you see what Mr. Jude Kavanagh was wearing last week? Two shirts and a pullover and I do believe I saw a blazer as well What was he thinking?????, However I do think that he and Annie should get together. But back to the evil Ho Tess, this creature is truly repulsive and deserves to die a slow and painful death I hope something truly bad happens to her she is such an evil bitch - manipulating a small child to achieve her evil aims - Die! Die!Die! you evil whore of Satan. Now on to Antonio and Gabby - while i must admit that Antonio is rather fine he betrayed his brother and he's a PRIEST -so Ricardo should kill them both. As for the whole Richards family circus Olivia should raise Trey, Cole and Caitlin should run off to join the flying circus and Bette should get AJ - It's not that they would make a good couple but Olivia doesn't have time for him and Bette doesn't have a storyline. That's all for now but I shall return!

marias#1fan
Meg should go back to feeding the cows in Kansas. Right now she isn't so bad, because she's being played by Sidney Penny, but when Susan Ward gets back, uh....She always appears to be a good girl in front of her parents and Ben, but once they leave, watch out. MEGabitch! She is such a phoney!

Simon - I love you Cole!!! (but stop being mean to Caitlin) and Frannie, bring her back!!!
who is this cute new guy in SB? And what could his strange and unrealistic quirk be? Apart from, of course, his ninja skills and his clothes, look at when he is in the office, he is wearing two t-shirts and a jacket, he must be really quite warm in that weather. And how could he not fall for Annie, who is great!

eunice
i think benji is the most irritating creature alive on planet earth.

Mitch
Why is it that whenever Gabi tries to convey emotion, all she ends up doing is looking slightly mad?!!!!


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