Bitch Archives

Mrs Nick Kiriazis no email

BITCH:Gabby is utterly repulsive and if she even dares toput her dirty hands on MY Antonio again there will be trouble.... BIG trouble.... . As for Antonio the cave incident was clearly not his fault as Gabby has in fact been sent by the devil to dissuade him from his chosen path. Now as punishment Gabby should be nailed to a cross and have a stake driven through her heart. She's so disgusting with her hair that grows nine feet every hour and her tragic pixie body and her dirty disgusting voice, I hope she dies and goes to hell and burns forever for what she has done...and then Antonio will bemine....all mine!!!!!.

Antonios lover no email

BITCH:the one person that really pisses me off is Hank why can't he get over the fact that his little girl Meg has grown up and is now in love with captain grease monkey Ben. I wish he'd stop interfering and let his wife go back to Bev Hills 90210 so he can have some of his own problems to worry about.

Ben's hairgel email

BITCH:Can I just say how utterly pissed off I am with Casey and Saaaaaara's relationship - just shag for Antonio's sake! I actually have recently met someone who does bear an uncanny resembalance to Antonio - and he's a bloody good kisser too! PLEASE bring Mark back from the dead (interesting twist, no?) and PLEASE bring SB back in the evenings, and above all PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE give Ben my number!.

Scott email

BITCH:Meg is so annoying. Maria is Bens wife meg is just a slapper. Ben almost killed Maria as he thought she slept with Derek, and Meg actually did, he even watched how stupid is he. Meg should go back to Kansas of get what she deserves - Casey, SBs biggest wally.

Sad SB Addict no email

BITCH:Why is Casey so damn self-righteous, why does he think he has a mission to save the entire world, why does everybody seem to agree with him for God's sake, what oh what does Sarah see in him. And why does Ben scuff his feet and jangle his keys constantly. In fact why do the Cummings girls have such lousy taste in men. But then their mother married their father so I guess it must behereditary.

Becky email

BITCH:Why can't i stop watching this programme? i've just realised how long it's been - about a year of addiction!!! still- when in Rome...i cannot stand Gabi who looks suspiciously like a pipe cleaner, Maria who has less charisma than a small carrot, Meg who's just too bloody good to be true and that lousy, dumb bimbo Vanessa. Are we really supposed to believe that she's perceptive enough to be a journalist??? Shes stupid!! She didn't realise Tyus fancied her for months. I say - shoot the lot, cast some young british actresses (like me) and i'll get Antonio out of the explosion site. Did they not think that having a shag could have disturbed the structure even more? Shame it didn't collapse half way through.

Alex W email

BITCH:I hate maria she deserves a a good slap and booted back into the ocean where she belongs so ben and meg alone and tim should go with her.

Avril no email

BITCH:Gabby! There's so much about this f***ing bitch that I hate I hardly know where to start! Why does she have such a loud, pushy, interfering manner? Is it because she's so short? She always seems to be eavesdropping and interfering, why doesn't she just walk away from the Torres family and leave them in peace? Why has she got such an underdeveloped scrawny little body but such a big head? What's wrong with Antonio and Ricardo - are they sick or something? Have I just answered my own question?!!

Father Fit's lover email


Ben's hairgel email

BITCH:What is with Michael figuring something out? surley this can't happen and has been proven medically imposible?! and surely Virginia can't be found out now after all her hard work to ruin Vannesa's life - this can't be right! and as for Tim's little fantasy in the hotel - never happen!

Katy Deschanel email

BITCH:I am seriously getting annoyed with the whole Smeg, Maria, Ben love triangle thingie. I wish he would bloody well make up his mind. I used to think that he should go off with Maria and dump Smeg seeing as she is the most sickly sweet annoying thing that ever lived, but now she is getting bitchier, which is a bit more impressive ( has anyone else noticed that all the cool females on SB are all complete bitches? - Annie, Olivia..etc..) Anyway back to the point, Maria is now starting to do my head in too, so I think that Ben should just dump them both!! And while your at it, I still want to shoot the entire Cummings family,and BRING BACK SB IN THE AFTERNOONS!!!

Emma email

BITCH:Annie is a rally cool bitch! I hate Virginia though, she should be kicked out of Sunset Beach!!!

Graham email

BITCH:The Ben/Meg/Maria stories are brilliant but why does everyone think Ben should be with Maria. Ben & Meg have this amazing chemistry and should be together, Maria had her time with Ben, let Meg have her chance. Anyway I like Meg she's brilliant, the best female on the show. BEN & MEG FOREVER!!!!!

Cam email

BITCH:Total, Total Quality Viewing. What better to do on a Saturday afternoon and hear about what Vanessa did with her Turkey Baster, or whether Olivia's stares could becoming any more lingering?? Not to forget Annie - how fab is she, what a bitch, I want to be that woman. I've decided that from now on my life will be Sunset Beach - no work and just get myself involved in other people's business and thrive off gossip and lingering looks.

Angela no email

BITCH:I've come to the conclusion that, unbeknown to Ricardo and Antonio, Gabby is really their half-brother, the result of a illicit liaison between Madame Carmen and a transvestite trappist monk. Pretending to be a woman (and not doing a very good job of it) Gabby seeks revenge on the mother who abandoned her by getting her two half-brothers to fall in love with her ......!!!!

Antz Pantz email

BITCH:How come we're always seeing Casey and Michael (speeew) bare-chested, but never Antonio? It's not fair! He's by far the most gorgeous creature to ever grace the Beach! All the rest of the male cast get their shirts off...except him! We want pecs! Right, I'm off for a lie down now. :-)

Rowena email

BITCH:I think that the saddest bitch has to be Franchesca! Can't she get OVER........ Cole. She is so damn annoying. If I were her, I'd go for Father Fit. She better get a life soon before she shrivals and dies - hey, isn't that what happens to her!?!

Carmen's Friend no email

BITCH:Why oh why does no-one take any notice of Carmen? Her predictions are always right! Antonio and his thick brother should pay attention to her and kick the horrid little Gabbie (is she really a woman?!) out on to the streets. Also I'm really sick of the Ben/Meg/Maria triangle, it's becoming so tedious. Ben should kick little Smeggie out and get back together with Maria, his real wife.

Kate email

BITCH:I hate Meg. She looks like Monica Lewinsky gone wrong and its so obvious that Ben should get back with Maria. Meg should kill her sister Sara in a fit of jealously because she blames her for it all, then Meg can kill herself, Casey can do the same on a double count of broken heart, and this eradicates all the most irritating characters and leaves Ben and Maria in happily ever aftersville. Plus, my suggestion for making SB better is to have some gay characters! Its biased! All those characters, and not an even slighly bisexual one among them! I call that unrepresentative, and I'm a politics student, so I know what I'm on about!! (alledgedly).

Varan no email

BITCH:Why was Cole wearing a pink shirt the other day? Why? Why? Why? Oh, and while I'm here, why does Casey insist on wearing pastel colours? Why does Sara always have her hair parted on the side? Why did the stairs in Ben's house suddenly become carpeted? Why does Gabi have so many eyelashes? What's up with Thickardo's sideburns? How did Bette get that surname? I mean,Katzenkazrah! Honestly!.

Dorna email

BITCH:About Olivia. Why does she have so many pauses when she talks and why does she dress all fancy when all she does is pop around to Caitlin's house ? She allways has to be so dramatic and gets stressed out about everything. Please stop Livvy.

Tequila email

BITCH:GABBI! Need I say more!!!!!!!!.

Alison email

BITCH:Big bitch- yup- Virginia- Hooooow long are we going to have to put up with this pathetic storyline- after all who would want Michael in the first place. Can we get rid of all the crap and concentrate on some people worth looking at- like Father Fit- Antonio, and Ben and Cole. How dare they even think about writing Antonio out of it- not him but Thickardo and his evil witch of a mother- where did she get that accent from???? I feel some more jacuzzi scenes wouldn't go amiss.

Thickado hater email

BITCH:Thickardo and Gabby are revolting, especially when they slobber over each other!!! Yuk! There has never been a more unattractive pair in the history of TV. Gaby should give up SB and get a job as the principal boy in pantomime, she'd be great as Peter Pan!!

Esther email

BITCH:Does anyone know what happened to Mr. Torres?(Antonio and Ricardo's father?) nobody ever talks about absent parents, why is this?
For the Love of Antonio, has anyone else noiced how gabi's hair now looks a lot like Paula's. Is this intentional because she is now dating Ricardo?. i personally like her with very short hair, at least then she didn't have a neck like a dying swan.

Mrs Antonio Torres no email


Jinny email

BITCH:I loved today's UK episode....totally gratuitous shots of a semi-naked Cole for no reason whatsoever but their aesthetic beauty...sound...
Anyway, I think I've sussed out the reason Father Fit's got the hots for Gabi, and it's quite a devious little plot really - I think it has to do with Gabi's, er, lack of womanly development, i. e. the body of a 10-year-old; if he gets found out and hauled up before an ecumenical enquiry board, he can argue that he thought she was a particularly effeminate altar boy, thereby incurring no more severe penalty than a sympathetic pat on the shoulder from his bishop and an invitation to join him as his guest of honour at the local parish's boys under-12 football tournament....

Jen & Kat no email

BITCH:Hey fellow beachers. We have a theory for you to consider. Since watching the past few episodes of SB, we have come to realise that baby Trey has an unusually large head. Is this because his brain is so big? We don't think so. This is SB not Mastermind and NO ONE on this programme has a brain consisting of more than two cells. We think that everybody is lying and that Shawn is the real father, because of their striking resemblance (i.e. head size). Also, has anyone noticed how the cast never seem to get to finish a sentence. This is especially true when they are about to start slagging each other off. For example, "You son of a..." is often rapidly interrupted such as the other day when it turned into " You son of a ... Annie" If they want to censor the language, why don't they just leave it out rather than having ridiculous, unfinished sentences. It's bad enough with Maria and Meg trying to get their words out without breaking off in the middle of sentences without the whole cast following their example. We just had to get that off our chests and now we feel much better!

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